Switched Swords
by RedKinoko
Summary: After what seemed to be a freak accident in the desert, a pretty swordswoman and a good-for-nothing drifter find their bodies switched. As much as they would want to beat the silly pecopeco out of each other, they must cooperate to face the challenge of d
1. Intro:For The Lack of A Better Prologue

Intro: For The Lack Of A Better Prologue 

Throughout history, many heroes have been spawned by the call of destiny during times of dire straits. The endless struggle between the forces of good and evil has called for countless grand souls who waged wars, created vast kingdoms and destroyed forces that sought the annihilation of things both saintly and demonic. These timeless icons have become legends long after they have come and gone: Wizards who wielded the arcana of both heaven and earth, swordsmen known to banish even the foulest of demons without loss, smiths who girded armies with weapons of unearthly properties and countless others who could not be worthed to a thousand men. 

Unfortunately, this story has nothing to do with them. Heck, we got people who would make epic struggles of the past pale in comparison with what they have to put up with during day to day living! 

Well of course, somewhere along the road, something interesting is bound to turn up for each and every one of us no matter how boring our lives may be. And that's probably where I should begin this tale.  

Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this tale, The Tale of The Switched Swords.

*Cue in creepy Are You Afraid of The Dark music*

***Cough*** Rip-off! ***Cough***

(Please don't sue me. I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention.)


	2. Episode One: The Drifter's Secret Techni...

**Episode 1: The Drifter's Secret Technique!**

High noon, Southern Beach of Izlude

The blinding rays of the sun reflected along the tempestous waves of the coast, producing an almost heavenly image of liquid crystals dancing in a toccata orchestrated by the Gods. A young swordswoman stared with her golden eyes as far as she could from the edge of a lowly bluff that spearheaded the beachline of south Izlude. 

"A windy day equally graced by the sun is a blessing of nature for everyone," recalled the girl. It was an old, popular saying of Izludeans. The lady, however, looked far from being a native of the port town. Her skin was almost like porcelain under the light of the sun, white and unblemished. Her eyes, a bit squinted but far from the near-linear contour of the eyes of the Payonese women. You wouldn't be blamed if you thought that she's Payonese because in truth, she really is (at least that's what she told me) ;D

A strong gust coming from the bay blew her long, straight, emerald hair away from her. With one gentle stroke she slipped it down the front of the right shoulder of her thick, padded wooden armor. She veered away from the waters and looked behind her, where she saw a female acolyte waving her hand and shouting the green-haired girl's name. 

"Sisteerr Umi~!" shouted the Acolyte as she speedily ran up the bluff.

The beautiful swordsman smiled back. "What's up, Arisa?"

The young cleric-lady who sported short, golden hair that glistened like the ocean waves under the sun stopped a few steps away from Rana. She panted a bit and went on to deliver her piece. "The men are already eating their lunch. You might want to get something to eat too. Teheehee, you're gonna need twice what of what they ate if you want to maintain both beauty and brawn at the same time."

Rana patted her belly and cheerfully replied, "I'll pass. I've eaten a heavy breakfast."

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn ya. Those swordies can become quite the savages when eating." The acolyted turned away and put both her hands on her nape.  

Umi looked at the beach. The training grounds were indeed empty. Everyone was probably eating. Just as they always do every noon. She looked at the katana lazily hostered around her right hip and tried to recollect past memories.

Her real name is Megumi of the Sakano clan, a family with a five-generation tradition in swordsmanship. Her parents' inability to bear a male heir after her birth made her the first swordswoman of the Sakanos. She was forced to learn the way of the sword at the age of three so that she may inherit the clan's succession techniques one day. 

Swordfighting, she did. And she did it very well. She was one of the few Payonese sword artists who wielded the traditional katana far better than those from Izlude. Her talents in the arts won her countless tournaments in her home town. 

But swordfighting alone wasn't enough to make her quite the famous swordswoman of the woods. Her unusually elegant beauty stood out against the rugged looks of most people engaged in the way of the sword. She has had her fair of courters. Unfortunately for them, they couldnt even get past her ma'ai. (Translation: Fighting distance)

Three years ago, as she turned sixteen, she was finally sent to Izlude to train even more. Three years hence, and she was still practicing to become the new master of the Sakano Dojo.  

The swordswoman took in a large serving of sea air with one deep breath. She looked up and noticed that clouds had moved in to obfuscate the sun. 

Umi clenched her katana as she started going back to the fighting grounds near the beach front. To no surprise, the whole set-up was boring her. For even in Izlude, she did not find enough challenge worth of training.  At least until that afternoon. 

As she started walked towards her acolyte friend, her eyes caught the image of a robed traveler who wore a sakkat. She stared at the matted straw headgear of the man which filled her eyes with enthusiasm. 

Umi's acolyte friend saw the same person and immediately ran towards the swords woman. "Umi, it's him."

The tell-tale red stripe on his sakkat advertised to everyone that he was the man that people were calling "drifter". Rumors about him were far and wide. Some stories about him boasted that he was once of the Moroccan high guard but was fired after refusing to kill an innocent lady. Others insist that he is a crazed, amnesiac wanderer forever searching for a long-lost loved one. Still others are so sure in saying that he once fought against the wraith of King Osiris himself. Whichever was the truth or whatnot, all stories included that he was a good fighter. At par with the legends. 

And he was what Umi had been waiting for. Defeating him in battle would not only make her famous. She would also gain enough merit to finally return to Payon as successor to the hidden Sakano arts. She simply giggled at the thought that she could finally short-circuit her training and get out of all of her labors in an instant. 

The drifter easily noticed the eagerness in the air and stopped on his tracks. He turned towards the swordswoman as another gust of wind blew his long robes sideward, exposing an long dagger tied to his leg. 

The robed man raised his sakkat, exposing eyes of a cold-blooded killing machine. His eyes met with those of Umi. A tacit agreement was made. The wanderer drew out his dagger while the young lady unsheathed her two-handed sword. The winds died down. 

The man started to ran towards Umi. The green-hair put on a defensive position and prepared for the frontal charge. The attack never came. 

Against all of Umi's logic, the sakkated man jumped off instead into a nearby bush and headed towards the eastern woods. Utterly insulted by the move, Umi haphazardly followed till the sight of the training grounds disappeared around a sea of trees. "Get back here, you moron! Nobody will see us fight in there!"

She stopped running when she heard ominous laughing coming out of nowhere. She then realized that she was in an opening surrounded nothing but tall trees. "Mwahahaha! You've fallen for my trap! I shall now defeat you with my ultimate technique: Cutting-the-golem-where-it-would-hurt-it-the-most secret dagger technique!"

_Eh? Odd name._

Sweat drops formed around Umi's forehead. Her battle instincts told her to be twice as on guard as the attack could come from any direction. Even from above. 

Indeed the man came from a high place and poised to pounce on her. His robes however, did not cooperate. A protruding branch caught a section of his clothes and spun him around at the opposite direction. 

"Not again!" said the thief as Umi watched him awkwardly catapult back to the ground. He landed on his back, twisted in pain for a few moments and finally stopped moving. 

The swordswoman jaw simply fell to the floor. It wasn't what she really had been expecting. How could somebody who had such a high profile from the rumors be so... so... clumsy!

She then heard rustling leaves from behind her as she waited for the man to get up. Umi pointed her katana at the source of the noise and assumed the worst. 

It was Arisa, the acolyte. 

Arisa was dumbfounded at the result of the 'quick' battle. She ran towards the robed man (against all logic of safety, but that's just what acolytes are trained to do) and put her ear against his chest. 

"Wow, Umi. I think you killed him."

"I did what?" Umi could almost cry. But not of pity, nor guilt, nor sorrow. Nobody saw her 'win' (if one would call that a win) and that means it would be back to the boring training for her again. Screw the dead dude.

The acolyte started administering her fledgling healing skills on the man. She turned to the still unmoving swordswoman and said, "Hmm. so he isn't so dead after all. But I can tell that he is really injured. You know, this is partly your fault, starting out a fight like that."

The still-kneeling Arisa took out a cute pair of glasses and started reading out form her mini-notebook. "By the Izludean Laws on Informal Dueling, he should be under your care until he recovers."

"EH??" Umi's eyes to near explosion, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAKE CARE OF HIM? LOOK AT HIM! HE'S... HE'S... HE'S DEAD!!"

Arisa put her hands once again in her neck as she lied on the grass.

"No he's not. Rules are rules. Well, look at the brighter side, at least he looks cute."

A loud shout echoed out of the woods, causing a few passers-by to give out slight glances. 

"NO, HE DOESN'T!!" 

And that was how the two swords first met. Their next match would make them inseparable from each other. Literally. 

~To be tutubi. XD Hasta La Juego. 


	3. Episode Two: Semicharmed Life

Episode 2: Semi-Charmed Life 

"Is it true?"

...

"Is it??"

"Is what true?"

"You know..."

"What?"

"The rumors..."

"THE WHAT??"

Umi slammed her hands down the dining table as she rose up in anger. Arisa could only put up a smile to obfuscate her fear for what might become of her for provoking the swordswoman. 

"Megumi-sama~ dont kill mee~", pleaded the acolyte.

Silence surrounded Umi's rented cabin. Only distant chirping pickies could be heard it echoed from the nearby woods.   

Umi closed her eyes, regained her composure with one deep breath and sat down just as quickly. "Ok, Arisa. What rumors are you talking about?"

Arisa came out of the defending position that she was balled up in. "Err... it's about the drifter."

Umi put a sharp stare at Arisa. If she could remember it correctly, she took in the unconscious drifter two days ago out of fear of breaking the strict sparring laws of Izlude. Although it was Arisa who did most of the care taking (Author's pesky note: Why is care taking no different from care giving?), it was her house and at her expense. In fact, he was sleeping right behind the room that they were in at that moment. What are the odds of him waking up? For, Umi, figures looked bleak. Very bleak. Maybe he was dead after all. 

"Mmm? The drifter, you say?"

"Yeah, many people are starting to ask me. Are you having an affair with him? Is that why you two are sleeping under one roof?" sheepishly replied the young girl.

A sudden rush of blood reddened the ivory-hued face of Umi. Her blood pressure shot up to astronomical levels.  She clenched her fists and approached the shaking Acolyte.

"Grr...Arisa..."

"Pwease don't keel me. I'm too young to die!" squealed the young cleric. 

"WHY SHOULD I NOT? HELLO?! You were the one who asked me to take him in! I was bound by law to do it! Why the hell would you even ask me about an issue that you yourself started??"

Arisa put on an indifferently astonished look. She her clenched right hand against her opened left palm - a sign of enlightenment as she stared blankly into space.

"OOooh! That's right! My mind must have slipped," said the young acolyte. 

/swt 

Sweat formed along the contours of the swordswoman's forehead. How could she have forgotten?

Umi imbibed in huge amounts her grape juice (a childhood favorite). Now everybody thinks she's gonna settle down with a man. And a stupid-oaf-of-a-drifter at that! When will the nightmare ever end?? 

Just then loud knocking came from outside the cabin. 

Arisa took the opportunity to distance her self from the raging volcano. She raised her hands excitedly and said, "I'll get it!"

The acolyte opened the door and in came a soot-black haired young swordsman, swift as the spreading news. 

"Is it true?" sounded the visitor as he room-to-roomed the place. 

Umi closed again her eyes and raised her shakingly-urging-to-kill fists. 

The acolyte cheerfully greeted the swordie. "Hiya, Eron!"

The young man took no notice and went on searching. He then saw the drifter lying on a mat on the next room. Tears started welling in his eyes. 

"So it's true then??"

Wham! (err… insert  Industrial Light and Magic sound effects here)

A loud cracking sound echoed outside the cabin. 

Inside, the swordsman lay near-unconscious beside the robed man, with a developing bump on his head. Behind him was a furious Umi, still polishing her right fist from the blow. 

"That's for barging in here without my permission..." 

The swordie got up and sat in Indian-fashion. He was almost crying like a baby while saying to himself: "Umi... my Umi..."

As usual, the acolyte came in running. She quickly put some blessed solvent on the head bump, which made the swordsman writhe in pain.

"Serves you right, Eron von Irongate," muttered the emerald-haired girl. 

Eron von Irongate. If Umi would ever be considered to be capable of making friends with the opposite sex, Eron would be equivalent to her best boy friend. But with that kind of friendship, I doubt that he'd live long enough to make the whole friendship last. 

He is the son of Aleck von Irongate, incumbent head of the swordsmanship academy in Izlude. He first met Umi during her first day in school. He challenged her, thinking that she would be a pushover. The result was quite the opposite: He got a good ass-whoopin in front of his class. 

After the defeat, he realized that if one cannot beat a good enemy, then it would be just as good to make her an ally. His motives however, are obviously more than that. 

Enough background checking. Back to the story.

Just then, a loud explosion emanated from the room that everyone was in. Smoke filled the entire place. 

Umi shut her eyes and covered her mouth. She quickly ran towards the bed. The drifter was gone. 

The swordswoman quickly reached for her sword. She tried to grasp its hilt. Once. Twice. She looked at her sheath only to find the blade... GONE??

Familiarly odd, loud laughing came from outside the blown wall of the room. Umi quickly dashed out to investigate.

"Mwahahaha! Let us resume battle!" said the Drifter. His sakkat was apparently not with him anymore. His sharp, Caucasian features and snow-white hair was so full of life as he laughed. On his right hand was something of value to Umi. 

Her sword.

"Get back here and I'll finish you off, you overgrown yoyo! You can't even jump from a tree without getting yourself killed!" shouted Umi. 

The robed man stopped laughing and fumbled with his words. "Uhh... err... that was an... uhh..."

Umi realized that it was her chance and ran towards her family heirloom.

The drifter saw her coming for it so he ran off. Umi pursued the man with haste. "Come back here, thief!"

Meanwhile, Eron and Arisa finally got their composure back. Smoke was slowly making its way outside through the newly formed sunroof. 

Arisa rubbed both her eyes. "What happened?"

The teary-eyed swordsman looked somewhat lethargic to what had happened. His thoughts seemed to wander into the nothingness of the smoke-filled air that filled the forest. 

"My... Umi..."

(Author's final note: Har har. Loser.) 

Next Episode: The fateful trade in the desert!

(Author: Dangit. The episode's too darn long again. *snip* *snip* There!)

(Voices from background: Dont cut us off the story boss! NYUUUuUuUuuuuu~)

To be con-hieloed. Hasa la juego, damas y caballeros.


	4. Episode Three: A Forced Trade Part 1 of ...

Episode 3: A Forced Trade 

The chase was on. Both warriors started a game of cat and mouse across the green fields of Prontera. Through its pristine lakes and virgin forests, the swordswoman tailed the drifter. They went on for hours without showing any early sign of flinching. Finally, they reached the edge of the Moroccan desert boundary. The robed man stopped for a moment as he took his first step into the warm, grainy sands of the desert.

"Hahahaha! Now you're in my territory! You shall taste the worst defeat here. The desert is my weapon!"

/swt

Umi panted a bit as she stopped from a generous distance. Was he serious? Did they run for so many minutes just for him to gain home court advantage? She took out a Payonese chopstick, skillfully wrapped her elegant green hair on it and inserted it beneath the ridges formed between her base hair and scalp. She then tried to rationalize the thought behind the madness. 

"I guess you're right. You can't trip on any tree branches around here," mocked the swordswoman. 

The angered thief retorted, "Insolence! My name is Vincent Paradise, remember it well for you shall forever be screaming it in hell!"

Umi let out a fake yawn. "Cheeky catch phrase. I'm Umi."

The robed man named Vincent was infuriated. "For a lady, you talk to much. But enough politeness. Have at you!"

(Author's note: Does she?)

With that said, the drifter threw at Umi her stolen katana and drew out his own dagger. The heirloom blade landed a few steps away from the swordswoman. She picked it up and watched Vincent dash toward her position.

"You're gonna regret ever taking on me, drifter."

"Mwahahaha! I shall wipe you off the face of this earth with my secret technique, mach two! Swift-treading-of-the-desert slash!" shouted drifter as he drew back the dagger in preparation for a forcive attack.

Umi centered her katana in front of her and braced herself for the blow. 

The high-pitched sound of metal hitting metal was simply deafening. An wave explosion of momentum followed shortly.  The force that was released by the blocked attack threw a considerable amount of sand up in the air within a short radius.  

Umi found herself laying a good five steps away from where she originally was. She was thrown off by the magnitude of the force. "Damn. That was a nasty blow," said the girl as she tried to shake her ash-filled face with her left hand.

However, something was amiss. She whiffed the settling dust twice. Her expression suddenly changed from desperation to plain astonishment. "What the hell?"

GUN POWDER??

(Author's note: Err... there should be gunpowder somewhere in Rune Midgard, yes? What makes them claymore mines explode?)

From a distance she saw the robed drifter running away from the crater that stood between the two fighters. His back was partially on fire and he was waving around both his arms like a raving idiot. 

/swt

"Come back here, you cheating piece of trash!" yelled Umi as she angrily chased down Mr. He's-on-fire while wildly waving around her katana like an Indian axe.

An oasis. 

In the middle of the desert.

The drifter finally got to an oasis where he was able to extinguish the flames by rolling around the shallow watering hole that was in the middle of the lush greens. He laid back for a few seconds in thought. "Funny, I don't remember an oasis being here..."

Umi was quick to follow as she haphazardly stepped in the pool where Vincent went. The drifter got up, with his clothes half-burnt and wet at the same time. His wet albinic hair plopped down into his face like a mop.

"What the hell was that you just did? Why the hell did you use gunpowder on me? Are you trying to kill both of us with your stupidity??" shouted the swordswoman as she pointed at Vincent.

(Author's note: She really has no idea how the gunpowder got inserted into the scene. It was in the air but only their blades clashed. How? That's why it's a secret technique! /gg)

But the drifter took no heed. He was staring at the water's reflection, his eyes, hidden from her view. Umi followed suit with silence. She stared at Vincent. His shoulders were shaking. Maybe he was crying?

...

...

Then, Vincent wildly threw his hair up his face by shaking his head with one abrupt motion. A jester's smile was painted across his face. 

"Nyahahahaha! Did you see my secret technique? I am the king of thieves!"

/swt

"You nearly killed the both of us with such reckless use of explosives, you asshat! And you even burned up your clothes!" said the somewhat offbeat Umi in a loud, furious tone. What an idiot, she thought. Wonder how he went about practicing the technique?

They would have gone one with the talk but something unexplainable happened. Dark clouds appeared out of nowhere. Within seconds, the whole lot of Morocc desert was shrouded with rain clouds. It was quite the strange occurrence because everybody knows that it never rains in that part of the desert. 

Rain started falling down on the two. The feeling was surreal, being soaked by rain in a land bereft of plentiful water. 

Finally, against everything that has been handed down from one generation to another in the name of logic, a lighting bolt struck the watering hole in the middle. The two immediately got knocked of their feet, unconscious.

(Author's note: A "shocking" conclusion? Hehehe, I really need to get these corny jokes out of my system..)

The clouds disappeared shortly afterwards. The bright sunny day setting returned and everything around the place appeared to be back to the way they were always were: dry and undisturbed. 

Almost as if nothing had happened.

No clouds.

No rain.

No lightning.

(Author's note: I'm cutting this ep. a little short since the next scene might stretch this episode out of proportion.)


End file.
